I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
