I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
