How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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