How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
