Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
