is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
