I need help removing her.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
