His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
