You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
not ubering you a puppy
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
