you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
