I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I need moral support for this bender
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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