I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
