i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize