When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How does one acquire holy water?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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