i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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