Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm always down for nudity.
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