SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
