Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize