Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize