I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize