Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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