how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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