and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize