Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize