Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
