TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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