11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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