Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
