these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
