its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
