Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
