you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
