i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
