No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize