In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
