finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
