chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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