these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
