Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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