Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
