Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
