so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Dear god my vagina.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
