you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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