i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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