He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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