btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Come share oat with me in your robe
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
