plz talk dirty to me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
