I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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