4 words: hood of his car
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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