I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize