i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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