A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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