Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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