I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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