I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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