Where did you get a picture of my penis
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
