Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
