My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
