I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
