you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
