I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
