i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
