He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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