Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Randomize
