How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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